Growth will also feel like a breaking point

I stole that from a meme...

I’ve really appreciated the term “magic dark”. Also known as the “fertile void”. This concept for a time where there doesn’t seem to be much movement in life, where we feel stuck. An unknown of what is to come. Lack of direction, motivation and understanding. The butterfly’s goo phase. Supposedly.

I can feel the confines of the cocoon. It brings me rage and so much sadness, grief. Because nothing is as it seems, and nothing seems to be moving in a direction. When I don’t know what direction to move. I guess I feel comfort in having something to move towards.

The discomfort makes my skin crawl, but there’s no where to go.

I come back to this poem called A Tendency to Shine by Adyashanti.

“If you prefer smoke over fire
then get up now and leave.
For I do not intend to perfume
your mind's clothing
with more sooty knowledge.

No, I have something else in mind.
Today I hold a flame in my left hand
and a sword in my right.
There will be no damage control today.

For God is in a mood
to plunder your riches and
fling you nakedly
into such breathtaking poverty
that all that will be left of you
will be a tendency to shine.

So don't just sit around this flame
choking on your mind.
For this is no campfire song
to mindlessly mantra yourself to sleep with.

Jump now into the space
between thoughts
and exit this dream
before I burn the damn place down.”

Hang on dear one.

With love.